david cameron for mutherfuckin’ mariners general management.

also, to harp on about what i said yesterday about bavasi “building” the 2004 mariners, here’s what bob melvin says: “We are who we are. The three-run homer is not something we’re built to do right now. It wears on you after a while.”

BASEBALL RELATED: i know i’ve bitched and moaned about the mariners enough to qualify as a mariners blog recently, but this takes the cake. bill bavasi was recently quoted in the pi that team either “can’t play offense or don’t know how to play offense” which is absolutely fucking infuriating thing to me, seeing as he put this team together. i don’t see why this guy, who blames the team he puts together and their “offense” for his mistakes? i mean, look at that atrocious bench he put together. and just who did he think was gonna drive in runs with slap hits and singles if edgar or boone weren’t hitting? what’s the contingency plan if they get hurt? and why does ownership still think he did good things for the team? anyways, the mariners suck. you heard it here, for the twentieth time.

in other baseball related stuff, i printed out project knuckleball and read it during lunch. it’s a great article from the new yorker about tim wakefield and a bunch of other kb’s. epstein is starting a factory of knuckleballers, and makes you think that even if you can’t hit 95 on a radar gun, you can learn to throw a knuckleball and get signed to a minor-league team (kind of like how moneyball got you thinking you that if could get a high on-base percentage by taking lots of walks you could be a sacramento rivercat).

on the same tip: bush or chimp?

so i’m sittin’ here at work trying not to look like an dork giggling my ass off at these pictures of donald rumsfeld’s new kung fu techniques. it ain’t working.

ugh, i think this page needs a proper revamping instead of that lazy-ass changing colors shit. look for it in the near future. i swear. images of me eating a nathan’s hot dog, josh caught in headlights, and rick rubin in a garbage bag shirt courtesy of josh.

what a bitch. we entered the Fade In Awards a while back, and got into the quarter-finals. i checked the winners today, and they didn’t even find winners for an action/adventure script (either that or they didn’t post them). i don’t know whether or not i should take solace in that fact we were not the only ones to not get a prize for action/adventure, NO ONE DID. aw, fuck it. stupid hollywood.

from Done Deal:

Title: Moneyball

Log line: Billy Beane, the Oakland A’s general manager, assembles a contending ballclub despite having a payroll much lower than other teams.

Writer: Stan Chervin

Agent: Jon Klane at the Jon Klane Agency

Buyer: Sony Pictures

Price: n/a

Genre: Sports Drama Bio

Logged: 5/5/04

More: To be adapted from Michael Lewisô best-selling novel

just one question: how?

the new dear nora record, mountain rock is available for purchase now. murmur hearts katie, meaning you must buy this. listen to hear we come around, now!

donnie darko is being re-released in theaters with 20 minutes extra footage. they should show a double feature with dd and the day after tomorrow for folks that can’t get enough jg. for those that can’t get enough dd, they should df with daredevil. that’d be awesome, or tba. gawd, i’m an idiot.

holy crap, dude! the guy from project grizzly is selling his suits on ebay! damn, if there were ever a time where i wished i had limitless funds, it would be now. i’d buy the suit and hurl a log at myself while standing in it, just like in the movie. if you wall chip in, i’d give you baseball bats so you could swing them at me while i was in it, too.