i did things today. i got things done. i still need to do more things today. i dropped $150 bucks on books for school. i need to go wash my car. i got my oil changed. i need to go buy some more tea. i mailed my bills. i still need to do more things today.

so…bored….

i’ve decided against leaving town to go anywhere too far, because i thought i’d stick around and get some shit done that i’ve been trying to get done forever. namely, get some releases finished up and cover art done, pay bills and do laundry, encode some songs (4 more songs on the mlb page done), and email everyone i know to say hi.

which brings me to my next point. dammit, no one emails me anymore. maybe i’m just checking my email too much, huh?

my grades were posted yesterday. because i’m a vain bastard, here they are (on a 4.0 scale):

Comparative Literature 397: History of Chinese Film - 3.6
Japanese 322: Medieval Japanese Literature - 3.6
Philosophy 342: History of Modern Ethics - 3.7

i began the quarter thinking to myself that i’d be cracking down and getting good grades, but found myself not trying all that hard (or at least it didn’t feel like it), and i think that’s because, for the most part, i enjoyed my classes. fortunately, next quarter, i’m into the same sort of things - i’m taking a class called “literature and other disciplines” which is literature in relation to music and poetry. (stop me if i’ve told you this before) we’re going to be reading some milan kundera stuff, which i’m pretty excited about. i’m also taking the films of pier paolo passolini (i’ve seen arabian nights which was weird as hell, but good nonetheless), as well as the history of jazz and the scope of literary history.

speaking of great movies, i went out and saw exit wounds last night. man that was awesome, especially the way seagal and dmx mesh their strengths on screen so well. at one point, when dmx is looking up at the sky (one of the most dramatic points in the film) and water is pouring down on him, i wanted to just stand up and shout “dmx!! raise the roof!!”

yep.

for those interested or curious, i’ve put up some mp3’s of some music that we recorded at the show at my house a couple of weeks ago. it’s all located at the my little brother page. (heckling, laughing, and clapping courtesy of all my good friends in attendance. also, if you hear a really loud laugh and someone saying “it’s like a rollercoaster!” and no one laughing after that remark, it’s me, because i felt really stupid after that.)

i think best heckling award goes to tinh - who doesn’t heckle to the performer, but straight to the mic recording, which makes it funny as hell, because you don’t hear it until you hear the recording. you can hear him at the end of one of the songs when alisha says, “when did you write that song? it’s really good!” and then tinh chimes in and says, “it’s alright….”

please, let me know what you think about the songs or if would like any information about them. thanks.

once in a while a little love wouldn’t hurt, if she says regret it tell her fuckin’ forget it:

it’s one of those days here in seattle where the sky is clouded, overcast, even. but it doesn’t stay that way - the sun keeps peeking out from behind the clouds and saying hello, and the day wavers between light and dark, creating beautiful penumbras.

one of the only places in the house that gets regular sunlight is, ironically, the basement room where the computers reside. generally, the glare off the computer screen would bother me, but today is different. i’d normally wipe the dust off the screen that’s there, because now i can really see it, as opposed to what the fluorescent light down here, but the sight of it is nice in some strange way. for some reason, it really reminds me of northern california fall afternoons; when the sun doesn’t shine directly down and you feel like it hasn’t moved all day. sitting at home watching cartoons after school and eating cereal.

it’s a good feeling.

let me elaborate: i’ve got this thing about big (or at least bigger) cities where i want to make the town feel as though it were small. i want to feel so comfortable with the city and so familiar, that i wouldn’t get lost, but i’d always be able to find something new. i could do either, and where ever i went, i would see someone i knew. i thought about this the other day and thought to myself, is it really about seeing people you know? or is it about being popular? i’ve convinced myself it’s really about knowing people, because i can go anywhere and see people i know, but being popular involves being liked by the people you see - which isn’t always the case.

i went to the college inn pub tonight ($1 pints of pbr - the working man’s friend [which, incidentally turns out to be my friend, too, although i don't have a job]) and saw two people i knew, one of whom i couldn’t remember the name. i hate it when that happens. miguel couldn’t remember his name either, but it was cool, he’s a nice guy. we got around to talking about how he wants to go to law school, and i mentioned that i thought about going to law school for about two minutes.

sitting in the computer lab at the library, i thought about going to law school and checked out some schools online. once i started reading, i knew it wasn’t for me. at least not anytime soon. words like “ambitious, dedicated, and focussed” scared me away, quite quickly, i might add. i remember in high school, my senior year, i also thought about it. i thought about going to washington university in dc, and applied and got in, but decided against it. i felt like i didn’t like arguing, and i still don’t, but i have my doubts as to how much i don’t like it, because i find myself defending certain things unconsciously. but then, i’d much rather argue things that i’m adamant about. argh. my apologies for talking out of my ass.

tomorrow begins the real spring break; a monday with nothing to do. maybe i’ll go hand in my crappy-ass resume.

a good old fashioned fight / so come on night / everyone is gone / home to oblivion:

this town is empty. there’s an eerie feeling abound, it’s foreboding and fateful. in a few years, everyone i know here won’t be around, or i won’t be here myself. the thing i hate about spring break is that everyone has somewhere to go, and the town empties. i wish school were still in, but there were no classes, i’d have to go to school to socialize and see people.

but that’s a dumb wish. i’m just having a hard time trying to fill my time with things productive while being justifiably lazy at the same time. i made my crappy resume (which is by far, the crappiest resume i’ve ever seen) and went out to flowers tonight for $3 margaritas (it used to be $2 bucks, i think…but perhaps that’s why we always come up short whenever we go there), but tonight just felt a little….empty.

this cigarette it could seduce / a nation with its smoke / crawling down my tired throat / scratches part of me that’s purring / softly stirring:

there’s a person that kant describes in his Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals that doesn’t seem to have any sense of sympathy. it’s not because he’s cold and unfeeling, nor is he apathetic and indifferent to the person’s calamities. it’s because he’s been there before:

suppose then the mind of this friend of mankind to be clouded over with his own sorrow so that all sympathy with the lot of others is extinguished, and suppose him still to have the power to benefit others in distress, even though he is not touched by their trouble because he is sufficiently absorbed with his own; and now suppose that, even though no inclination moves him any longer, he nevertheless tears himself from this deadly insensibility and performs the action without any inclination at all, but solely from duty - then for the first time his action has genuine moral worth.

i feel like that guy sometimes, and just can’t seem to do the things worth doing.

it’s cold, and raining, and i was driving my brother to the airport, and i put in orange rhyming dictionary and skipped to track number 10. i’ve been staying away from smoking lately, but i told my brother, “this is the ultimate song in the rain, driving and smoking.”

this is the second time i’ve been to the airport this week. i usually tend to go to the airport something like twice a month, picking people up and bringing people there. i like them both, almost equally i’d say. the best part about it though, is the drive home, because you’re either driving home with someone that is here to visit or here to stay, or you’re driving home by yourself northbound on i-5, blasting music. heading into seattle, you can see downtown and the buildlings, and the cranes on the industrial area docks. they tower on the beach and look like big red giraffes. or maybe they’re brontosauruses. sometimes when the day is nice, it’s even better driving on 99, because you can see the water and the ferries, too.

i’ve get less to do these days. i need to work on a resume.

done.

yesterday, my phone was ringing. i was on one side of the room, and the phone was on the other side. hardwood floors are conducive to sliding across the room. i ran, picked up some speed, and slid for a while. everytime i think about this, i cringe a bit. as i was sliding, some splinters decided to come up and reach their way into my foot. deep into my foot. i yelp, scream, and fall onto the couch and grab the phone. i can’t concentrate on the phone, as i have two huge slivers in my foot.

i sit and try to yank out the splinters, but they only break into smaller pieces, and eventually, only the part that is in the skin is left. i need needles, safety pins, tweezers, morphine, a saw, an elephant dancing across the room to get my mind off the pain and the people laughing and belittling me (”oh it’s just a splinter don’t be a baby!”). all’s i have is a safety pin. i got upstairs to my room and dig out the splinters. no luck.

neal shows up in my room at of nowhere with his swiss army knife. he is my savior, my hero. tweezers, i think. and i felt a kin to being in a war, trying to get a bullet out of my side. i was rambo. it was painful, i tell you. i laughed and yelped and said to neal, who was watching me pull the splinters out, “this is good, i feel like i’m alive.” i laughed and pulled, and he laughed and cringed.

it was fun. i limp today, i’ll be fine tomorrow. and i know not to go sliding on our hardwood floor.

bueno sera senorita, kiss me goodnight:

tomorrow i am obligated to 1 hour at school. 1 (one) hour, and i am free for a week and a half, and i will fill it with as much fun as possible. i was thinking about driving to las vegas (via san fran, to visit the folks and friends, and then la, to visit my sister and some more friends, and then back to las vegas, to drink liquor, gamble irresponsibly, and spend some time with even more friends that are going to be there at the time), but i’m not so sure. i still don’t have any money, you see. if i get my financial aid though….

life is moving along.