Measure me in metered lines, in one decisive stare, the time it takes to get from here to there. My ribs that show through t-shirts and these shoes I got for free; I’m unconsoled, I’m lonely. I am so much better than I used to be. Terrified of telephones and shopping mall, and knives, and drowning in the pools of over lives. Rely a bit to heavily on alcohol and irony. Get clobbered on by courtesy, in love with love, and lousy poetry. And I’m leaning on a broken fence between Past and Present tense. And I’m losing all these stupid games that I swore I’d never play. And it almost feels okay. Circumnavigate this body of wonder and uncertainty. Armed with every previous failure, and amateur cartography, I breathe in deep before I spread these maps out on my bedroom floor. Leaving. Wave goodbye. Losing, but I’ll try, with the last ways left, to remember. Sing my imperfect offering.

okay, so i’m a jackass. it’s batting a thousand, not a hundred.

sometimes i’m way too contradictory.

you are the most, you’re so rad, you’re so fresh:

hi. i’m a little tipsy. i went to flowers with friends and we quickly became the obnoxious loud people there, and unfortunately, regardless of the great company that i had there, all i could think about was the hat girl. yeah, everyone knows about her now, because that’s all i can talk about. she’s gotten to the point of mild obsession, and i found myself hoping to god that she would just happen to walk by there, so that i can make use of that liquid courage that alexi lauds so much (who is having a bad day, much like the rest of us. keep on truckin’ holmes.)

anyway, i’ve been overthinking the entire situation, and accidently pinky swore someone tonight that i’d ask her out soon. i’d really like to get to know her, anyhow.

lately, i’ve talked to scott introspekt and mike grillburn, who are both really nice, and in the same boat with me. i don’t know what it is, but us blogger boys are single as single can be, and it’s not like we don’t try. really. i swear. i’m not sure if paraphrasing ben lee is taboo and cheesy or not, but: “maybe i should spend less time living life, rather than writing life down.” i’m not speaking for them, but sometimes i feel like….shit. nevermind. let’s just say that i appreciate their kindred pining.

enough negativity. i’m off to drink myself a little sillier.

last night i went out to the monkey pub with the boys. it was one of those drunken haze nights, where i sat there for 5 hours and we talked about all these things, at shouting levels, but i don’t mind so much when we have to shout over good music. i’ve said it before, i’ll say it again: monkey pub = best indie jukebox in seattle. after we were good and drunk, we went to stella’s to get a snack, and then miguel, rick and i made the long walk home. nothing like taking a long drunk walk on black ice. rick fell once. he’s okay.

now, today i woke up and had breakfast/lunch with an ex-girlfriend of mine, and i haven’t seen her in a very long time. we used to hang out a lot more, but we’ve just kind of gone different directions in life. it was good to see her though, and we talked about stuff we were doing and stuff we used to do. remember how i was talking to another a while ago and how she had a boyfriend? well, this one too, so so far, my past relationshippers (i know that sounds terrible, but i don’t like saying ex’s for some strange reason) are batting a hundred in the new boyfriend area. i don’t know if that analogy works, because i don’t really know much about baseball, but i think you get the idea.

i’m not really all that bitter about it, in fact, i think it’s good. good for them, i know if i were in the same position, they’d be happy for me. so hooray for everyone. HOO-RAY!

i was thinking i’d go see a movie by myself pretty soon, as i haven’t done that in a while, and there’s a lot of movies that i’ve been missing lately. i’ll be sure to let you know, i hope you’re having a good weekend.

take down this number. and call me, when you wake:

after posting yesterday afternoon, i decided i’d go to mcmahon hall for no apparent reason (or for reasons obvious to me, but am not yet willing to admit to anyone). i get there, take a look at the desk, and see jesse and jeff working, and james is there too, who just happened to be visiting at the same time. i stand around, talk, and laugh for a little while, and eventually end up going back to the library with james. i check my email, and find i’m supposed to meet glenn at cafe allegro in 5 minutes. i jump out of my chair and get there a little late, but glenn is much later. we have dinner at the thai-ger room, where i see dan, and say hello and goodbye in one breath (which certainly wasn’t meant to be rude at all, i just really had to go to the bathroom, as i have a bladder like an infant [of which i'm sure jason will attest to, as he likes to tease me of my shortcomings]). we have dinner, and glenn realizes he needs to be somewhere at 630, and it’s 635. we book out of there, and i go back to the library and attempt to study basho, confessions of lady nijo, journal of the 16th night moon, and an aggregate of other medieval japanese literature works. i fail, miserably, and leave, about half an hour later.

i step outside, and it’s snowing. hard. i’m amazed at this, as it hardly ever snows in seattle, so i look up at the sky and wander around for a while. i go to the hub, and then back to the library where my bike is waiting for me. remember me saying that it was great to pass up people in cars? well, no more. i got back to my bike, and find that someone has jacked my front tire. i fucking locked the frame up, and since my lock didn’t fit around the front tire and the frame, i simply locked up the frame. bad idea. so i stood there, staring at my bike, and had my previously great mood (because of the snow) turned around because some jackass decided to steal a wheel off my bike. i looked to my left and saw a solitary wheel locked to the rack. they probably stole their frame, and my wheel, and rode outta there and thought nothing of it. it was right in front of the goddamned library. sigh.

so i picked up my bike and slung it over my shoulder and carried it to james’ house where i shall store it until i find the time to drive my car there to pick it up. at that point, i either had the option of walking home and picking up my car to go to the breakroom, or to just take the bus. i walked to the bus stop and hitched a ride to capitol hill. passing by rick’s work, i thought i might stop by and see if i can hitch a ride home after he got off work, i needed to go to the bank anyway. about 30 blocks from the breakroom, i get off the bus. it turns out rick wasn’t working, so i just went to the bank, and walked in the cold to the breakroom (which, incidentally, has a bank of america right across the street). soaked and wet, having traipsed through the slushy snow and mud, i arrived at the breakroom and had a couple pints of mac’n'jacks.

by the time the show is over (which was entertaining, that lael alderman is fucking rock star, man; he’s got the moves), snow is covering the roads. jonas graciously gives me a ride home, and we gaze at snow-covered streets and glare at the assholes in the SUV’s that think they own the road now. slowly and surely, we make it home, and i thank him for braving the terrible weather to bring me home. i walk inside, and rick is by the doorway, and he runs outside to go play. i set my things down, and see miguel putting on his coat. it’s 1230 or so by now. i ask him where he’s going, and he says, “outside.”

i’m giddy again at this point, because what else is there to do? i change coats and shoes yell at the people downstairs that we’re going outside to play and i run outside (through the backdoor, so i can ambush them). our short-lived snowball fight turns into an attempt at building a snowman, which turned out alright. we took pictures and played until 200 or so. exhausted, i fell asleep right away. (i’ve noticed lately, that i have a bad habit of shifting tenses constantly).

i woke up this morning, and it was still snowing. UW never closes, so i ventured out into the snow again to get to school. someone knocked the head off our snowman. fucking savages in this town.

the thing is, when it snows here, everyone goes crazy. people can’t drive, and i feel like i’m 5 years old again and want to play in the snow all night (although it never snowed where i grew up in cali). anyways, i had a lot of fun tonight in the snow, but there are quite a few other things to report on as well. i have a test tomorrow morning that i didn’t really study for, but i still need to get some sleep beforehand. much more tomorrow.

i’m sorry, i’m back, and i can’t resist telling you about this guy that’s talking really loud. some people (like me) think it’s kind of funny, ’cause he has no idea that he’s talking this loud. but other people, one in particular, just yelled across the room, “HEY! IT’S A LIBRARY!” it sounds like he’s having trouble logging into a computer, and he just condemned the computer a second ago, damning it to hell.

sometimes it really makes me wonder about people that don’t know they’re obnoxious. i mean, i really, really hope someone tells me if i’m that annoying.

well, i just got up and glanced over in the general direction of the raucous and saw the guy, who, incidentally is wearing a fat guy hat.

i rode my bike to school today, although i don’t have any classes, i enjoy the library a lot. i like to sit around and read here, mostly because it’s much quieter and less distracting than my house. i haven’t ridden my bike to school in a while, and it felt good, cruising past those suckers stuck in the traffic in their cars.

tonight i’m planning on going to the breakroom to see the bella fayes play (alisha’s brother’s band) and hopefully meet up with some friends that i haven’t seen in a while from the ‘zon. thankfully, it looks like this weekend is shaping up to be something nice, and thank god i don’t have school on monday, which means a 4 day weekend for tim! unfortunately, tomorrow i have another japanese literature test and i haven’t caught up on any of the readings. i should go do that.

there’s this guy probably 100 ft. behind me and i feel like he’s yelling in my ear (and i have headphones on). it kind of sounds like andre the giant, except he’s saying nothing interesting, and i can’t see how large he is, so’s i can make fun of him all i want. it sounds like his mouth is full of something, or his muscles just aren’t working correctly, like his tongue has gone limp in his mouth and his cheeks are bloated like a chipmunk’s. and every time i turn around, there’s no one there that fits that description. weird.

this may be a couple minutes late, but the article is well worth the read (please, just keep going - don’t let the ubiquitous pessimism stop you from reading the whole thing): The Love Bloat